Written
by: Peretz Green
Some Autobiographic Gnomen
Chapter 1
Gnomen 1 - DIARY of the
DONKEY: Nov. 20, 1998, Kislev 2, 5759. The conclusion of the Virtues of
Esther and the Tribunal of Mordechai ha-Tzadik (Esther 2) is an extraordinary
revelation that touches more concretely for the first time the question of the
Hidden Goel, Haim, when he was in the world. In the Book of Esther 1 was
revealed the history of the Initial Signs in the School of the Essenes
revealing the hitherto hidden history of the Star that Astounds. The Book of
Esther 2 concentrates on the exposition of the name ‘ASHER’, also filling in the historical gap concerning the Hidden
Servants of God, the true Hidden Tzadikim, who maintained the merits for the
world’s continuation especially in the past 2000 years.
Gnomen 2 - I at first wrote
here the title ‘The Book of the School of Esther‘ The New ‘Shin’ and the New
‘Vav’ of the Final Redemption - The Tablets of
Justice of the Tribunal of Mordechai ha-Tzadik’ as part of the New Scroll
of the Final Redemption. These are the New Letters of SHUSHAN representing the
New Purim of the Final Redemption. I know yet nothing of the contents of this
text.
Gnomen 3 - The Scroll of the
Final Redemption, once it opens does not close. Each text has to be closed but
the Scroll goes on because it represents the living exposition of the Fourth
Generation in course.
Gnomen 4 - (follows chapter
13 of Esther 2) In truth I passed through my Bar
Mitzvah School without knowing anything of the Torah. Only
when I was 18 with my entrance into Yeshiva University (in New York) did I
begin to walk on the path of the Halacha. I was always amazed about everything.
I was alive. That seemed to me amazing enough. But here there were Jews who
even wore tefilin
when they spoke on the telephone with their girl-friends.
Gnomen 5 - I remember Rabbi Riskin’s clamoring vociferously
about that one. “I passed him by in the corridor” he screamed with talmudic joy, “and I stopped in my tracks to see the
wonder. Did he really have a direct line to the Ribono
shel ‘Olam!”
You can see, then,
that I already had a full Jewish education before I got trapped into the
Habad-cage. Had I had a girl-friend, I would not have spoken to her on the
telephone while wearing tefilin. I took to heart that ‘direct line’ expression.
It was the ‘direct line’ that I desired. The problem was that every time I
searched for the ‘direct line’ I found myself searching for a girl-friend as
well.
Gnomen 6 - It was not easy
such a blotch on my conscious, so I went to the Campus Freudian Sage with a
German Jewish beard to ask him why such a mitzvah as the circumcision was
completely ruining my ‘direct line’ with the Master of the world. “Are you not
afraid of Him?” asked the Rabbi Doctor with German lucidity. “Of course I am
afraid of Him and certainly I wish not to do anything against His will. The
problem is that instead of the ‘direct line’ that I must reach, everything I
see and touch makes a ‘direct line’ to the middle section. Have you no remedy,
Doctor, to help me get out of this body before it drags me under?
Gnomen 7 - “What do you mean
‘everything’?” his eyes lit up with psychoanalytic precision, joyous for my
readiness to strip my mind before him. “Everything” I said with emphasis. “If
it were only the problem of a girl-friend why would I have come to you? No,
Doctor, it’s not that. Somewhere along the line, I exited from all distinctions
of male, female, animal, plant life and even inanimate objects. Everything
finds a way to excite me. The entire world, it seems to me, has come to squish
and squash me with sexual desire.
Gnomen 8 - “Do you think the
situation is very serious, Doctor?” “Not at all” he said smiling with the
solution on his beard. “It is a simple case of Yetzer
ha-ra.
You’ll get married. It’ll pass. See how clearly you expound on yourself. If
there were a real problem, you would not be able to do such. Do not worry and
don’t be afraid. You’re not meshuga. Have
a little more fear of Him and then you’ll get married afterwards and all this
will go away. Zai a menshe un daiga
nisht, vet zain gut.”
He’s certainly more
rational than Freud, I concluded in my thoughts. The difference is that Freud
never understood the Yetzer ha-ra
and so he saw every evil as rooted in the sub-conscious for reasons of its own.
But you can’t blame the negatives for the kinds of photos that were taken, can
you!
Gnomen 9 - Nevertheless,
that direct-line tefilin discourse of R. Riskin set
me off into a long meditation and in the end was the real catalyst of my
leaving the University and seeking the ‘direct line’ with Habad. R. Riskin’s quip irked my growing inner warp and excited my
desire to know why my love could not yet be satisfied by tightly binding myself
to the tefilin straps. Something was desperately wrong with me, I reasoned, and
even for Minhhat Shabbat I could not sing freely with
the others.
Gnomen 10 - At the Yeshiva
University, I found German-Jewish-American Halachic Judaism. The German-Jewish
part was quite strict and the American part quite watered down but, in general,
I was seeing active, halachic Judaism in the context of Traditional studies. I
had already a fair knowledge of modern Hebrew, having
studied it in Weequahic High School in Newark, New Jersey, with Mr. Chasen, peace be with him, for 3 years. I had also been to
Israel the summer before beginning at the University, having won that trip to
Israel for 7 weeks for high grades. Mr. Chasen sent
me with a Shomer ha-Tzair
(non-religious Zionist) group.
Gnomen 11 - I myself had no
idea of the various groups of Zionists, religious Zionists, socialist Zionists,
non-religious Zionists etc. etc. and I never belonged to any group. Indeed, I
never loved being part of groups of people, ideologically oriented, and I never
really allowed myself to mix into any group, feeling myself too individualistic
to ‘divide’ or ‘share’ myself with others. My individualism was very spiritual
or, at least was taken by me as a question of my spiritual identity which,
however, I had yet to delve into and try to define. I was born with strong
inner faith in the One Living God, thank God, I’ve
never known what doubts on this matter even mean.
Gnomen 12 - I believed, of
course, in the Pesah of the Jewish people and I desired to study Torah and to
know much more. I was therefore very enthusiastic about the Yeshiva University
and the daily program of Jewish studies while greatly appreciating the
double-program of secular subjects in which I majored in classical Greek. In
truth I was a frustrated study-monger. I was always in the thought of using all
my time for studying and reading but I was always thwarted from accomplishing
that desire. I was always in conflict with wasted time and the conflict
remained because I never used my time as I would have desired.
Gnomen 13 - DIARY: see
(not brought here) diagram of the 13 New Mazalot in
their respective positions in their convergence with the 13 Stars of the Shoshanah.
Gnomen 14 - some notes
received by Giuseppe in
the Tent: the New Mazalot give over the comprehension
of oneself. In time, in the events (of the world and in one’s personal life)
the Mazalot will come to explain themselves progressively;
The ‘eye’ of Balaam
is representative of the New Mazalot, that is, the New Level of Prophecy that
derives from the New Mazalot.
The ‘eye’ of Balaam
permits the person to see himself, after one is on the level of always speaking
just words and doing just actions; this is the Third Eye ‘above’ that brings
the words and the actions to their completion in the proper and true
prospective desired;
Gnomen 15 - the New Mazalot
are the new roots of the future; this means that the person born under the New
Mazal is already rooted in the ‘sources’ of the Final Redemption;
‘shtum
ha-’ain’ and ‘gilui ‘ainaim’ are three eyes;
in one sense, every
person has a third eye, possibly called the ‘eye of prophetic vision’;
the ‘third eye’ of the
Donkey who eats Bread opens the eye of prophetic vision for the world; in order
for mankind to receive this third eye, it needs the third eye of the Donkey;
the third eye
represents the true Middle Way
between the extremes;
the third eye is hidden
above the brain, slightly above the forehead (but the Three Eyes of the Donkey,
received in a dream of Giuseppe, were in a line, as the 3 Stars in the Sign of
the Stars). -
Gnomen 16 - DIARY:
some hidden Signs of Esther: in Davide Levi’s dream, Peretz says “Shin, Sheen,
it is the Dead Donkey speaking to you”. The double Shin refers to SHUSHAN.
Together the 2 Shins give over the New KTAV SHUSHAN (the
Writing of SHUSHAN) which allows for the writing of the New Scroll of Esther of
the Final Redemption, in the permission of the Final Goel, Haim.
Gnomen 17 - DIARY: our
Michail Esther (who is from Persia (Iran) originally)
had her work concerning the Cuneiform Tablets that she possesses requested from
someone in Beersheva, someone from Ben Gurion
University. At the same time, by an obviously ‘providential’ error, she
received a fax which was of the Queen Pahlevi, wife
of the ex Shah of Persia who wrote the fax to some poet in the United States.
These are ‘hidden signs’: the New Kingdom of the School of Esther of Beersheva
is beginning to come unto its Reign among the universal kingdoms (the
extensions of Babylon, Persia, Greece, Rome, of Ahhashverosh. This is in
conjunction to our Web-Site Camillo,
directed by Solly Kamkhaji
in Beersheva.
Gnomen 18 - The Hherem Mi-Deoraita of
the Five Tablets of the Pact (which is on the Web-site Camillo) is bound to the
5 Stars of the Higher Tribunal of Mordechai ha-Tzadik. Since the end of the
13th year and the death of Beniamino noster, the Sign of the Donkey who eats
Bread was allowed to continue as the successful mission of the last prophecy in
Malachi and the final prophesied New Pact of the Prophet Jeremy, the Signs of
Purim abound and the Correspondences between the Tribunal and the Kingdom of Esther
are continual. Also in the 14th General Volume of the Book of the Stars
(written in the 15th year of the Completed Signs and still in hand-writing) was
full with ‘hidden Purim Signs’ hidden in the Festival of San Remo.
Gnomen 19 - All the New Purim
Signs represent the Hidden and Strategic Ways in which the Final Redemption
arrives to the Jewish people.
----------------------------------------
Gnomen 20 - That ‘direct
line’ tefilin joke had had meaning for me. Most of the Jews among the Yitzhhak Elhhanan program of
Yeshiva University, not the teachers who were, in general, rabbis, but the
students, seemed to me ‘part-time’ Jews. I had not the experience to measure
meaningfully the various classes of Jews that I found at the University but, in
general, it seemed to me that those who have had the great fortune of studying
the true Tradition must be fully dedicated to it.
Gnomen 21 - I didn’t find the
fire that I was searching for to help me ignite the burning faith that was
always within me from the youngest days remembered. I was, I suppose, not
exactly a run of the mill person. I was, first of all, over-desirous in whatever
I wanted.
DIARY: from DIARY of
Little-Fishy Natiul: December 30, 1998, Tevet 11,
5759, the first day of the New Month of Big Fish, Leviathan, which enters just
as White Horse completed his revision of the New Stellar Calendar of Leviathan.
This is the month of the Heavenly Perfume. The days are counted from mid-night
to mid-night.
Gnomen 22 - Friday, 1:00,
first of January 1999, Tevet 12, 5759, Heavenly Perfume 2: I declared this
year, in virtue of the ‘triple nine’ Year of the Triple Verification, Year of
the Triple Meditation and the Year of the Triple Jump.
Gnomen 23 - DIARY:
Jan. 6, 1999: Dream of Davide Levi of hair growing from his tongue. I told him
that he must prepare himself to speak of the Final Redemption without hair on
his tongue. - Solly sent me a document on the
Essenes. - Dream of Gilat Haim receiving ‘wing’ (of
White Horse) as she saw Shaul who had a house between Palestinians and Shiites.
- Giuseppe dreamed a decree on north Italy in which it was said that now the
decrees will begin to descend rapidly. - Davide Levi dreamed that he said to
Netanyahu “You will fall because you made 2 errors. One is that you didn’t do
anything to placate the Palestinians. But most of all, and I speak in the name
of the Tzadik Haim, Rosh le-lamed-vav tzadikim nistarim,
because you were elected by the vote of the Habadiim”.
- -
Gnomen 24 - All is faith and
faith is all. We are believers. We believe in the Lord, our God; we believe in
the Patriarchs; we believe in the Law of God brought by Moses, our teacher. We
believe in the Prophets of Israel and in the great mission of the Prophet
Elijah and we believe in the 3 Redemptions of EHEYE ASHER EHEYE.
I must warn the
pupils of the Goel Haim of the danger of complacency in the faith.
Gnomen 25 - In truth, the
faculty of faith is a God-given gift planted in the depth of one’s heart. It
is, however, necessary to distinguish between the knowledge of the true faith
and between actively living before God in the true faith. Every precept must be
fulfilled in the active felicity of the heart in feeling the closeness and the
love of the Lord, our God, upon us.
Gnomen 26 - The inner soul of
Sinai cannot but reject the deification of a man. The Christians remained
simple in their faith of God but confused in and doubtful of Christian
theology.
Gnomen 27 - Many, throughout
the ages, were innocent victims of that confusion. Because of the Trinitarian
disability, their concentration on God Almighty in prayer was damaged. These ‘lost
sheep of the house of Israel’ often became ‘intellectually’ damaged for
reason of the false doctrines and dogmas inculcated in them. They were blocked
off from true thoughts and from coherency in the faith.
Gnomen 28 - Christianity was
doomed to false Trinitarian bindings and so Christian minds became bound up
with the limitations of non-reasoning and non-logic since the time of Paulus.
Gnomen 29-36 - It is for reason
of this rooted superficiality of non-thinking, that the lost sheep of the house
of Israel must be warned, after they have already been circumcised and
converted onto the Altar of Efraim, not to fall into complacency in their
faith. The return is, of course, filled with new joys. The soul is happy having
found that for which it has been waiting centuries and even millennia. There is
immediate illumination of the mind and the heart, an effulgence of new
comprehension and new thought paths in a previous desert flowing now with a
renewed spirit.
Gnomen 37 - Now you know and
now you fully believe in the Completed Signs of the Final Redemption and you
are pupils of the chosen Tzadik Haim. You believe too in the Brays of the
Donkey whether of Sinai or Bethlehem or Big Fish, Leviathan. Do not be
complacent in your faith. You must yet learn to stand straight before God and
before people, because your yes has not been a yes and your
no has not been a no for generations and the distortions of Paul’s
language have left serious historical wounds that must yet be healed.
Gnomen 38 - We are in the
generation of the Great Stellar Convergence and that which is life will be
called life and that which is death will be called death. The Holy Torah is
Life. The language of Paul’s theology is death. This is the generation of its
agony and death. This is the time of the great fall of the fallen-tongue
because the Redemptional Stars are shining only on the New Pure Language of the
Third and Final Redemption. Paul’s Christianity has only to live out its agony
until it is no more. The Torah will be enlarged for the world. Traditional
Christianity will not go on in time.
Gnomen 39 - And yet do not
become complacent in your faith. As the happiness and exhilaration of a thirsty
man without water in the desert who is suddenly presented with pure drinking
water, so have you been given the marvellous news of the great salvation that
has entered the world. You have been redeemed but you
must yet redeem the faculties within you that have taken the historical brunt
of Pauline formations.
Gnomen 40 - You have been
saved from death and you been brought out of the desert but now you must drink
water every day to replenish the fountains of salvation that are in you and you
must eat well every day to strengthen the limbs of your mind that they may
stand on their own and walk with confidence on the straight paths of the living
faith. Blessed is the Lord, our God, who sends the Pure Tongue of the Completed
Signs of the Final Redemption.
Gnomen 41 - Blessed is the
Lord, our God, who opens for us the New Humble Brain of the Final Redemption.
The New Brain is sent into the world when that of the lost sheep of the house
of Israel has been shattered beyond all correction. In His great love and mercy
for Efraim, His precious son, He cannot suffer, so to speak, to see the forlorn
state of mental inactivity. Then does He give orders to begin opening the
treasure-houses of the New Humble Brain reserved for the redeemed in the Final
Redemption.
Gnomen 42 - You have retained
and maintained your derech eretz and
now do honour unto your soul; have her stand up before the Throne of Glory to
ask of the coming of the New Humble Brain. For there is no correction for you
as you are but there is new force for what you may become. Only a totally new
imposed structure can lift you out of the past. If you need Donkey Strength, be
a Donkey, but you need the direct mercy of the Lord, our God, upon you so that
the Bird of Israel be Resurrected. And you need the
direct force of God upon you to combat the Fish’s Battles against habit.
Gnomen 43 - You need the
Weights of a Donkey to remind you to be humble. You need the slowness of a
Turtle to slow down the Fast Fourth Generation Pace of your thoughts so that
you be Illumined in the richness of God’s closeness.
You need the Neck-height of the Giraffe to help you elevate your thoughts above
the day’s banalities. You need the direct mercy of the Lord, our God, to help
you enter the Design of the Final Redemption and to organise your thoughts in
its Composite Project.
Gnomen 44 - You need the
closed Refuge-house of sealed lips with an armadillo casing to save you from
the habits of the fallen tongue. You need a Lake of Salt to eat away the mental
crusts of time-laden disuse. You need a Valley of Mercury to awaken the
balances and measures and to gain the courage to enter in depth. In all these
you need the direct mercy of God Almighty upon you to guide you so that you be
in step with every minute and certainly not later than the Minute’s End.
Gnomen 45 - You need the
direct mercy of God upon you to know again the Heavenly Perfume in which the
soul delights; for centuries you have been without the scent to which your soul
yearns. And once again you need to gird yourself in the precision of the Lion’s
Den so that you walk on sure footing in the Law of God. Then shall you feel the
Beauty of Paradise in your heart and you will feel the direct mercy of the
Lord, our God, within you, shining on the New Tablets of your heart.
Gnomen 46 - This is the
Tikkun (correction) of White Horse who died, poor Horse, and left a Wing with Gilat Haim. And in the Sign of the Resurrection of the
Teacher Haim, White Horse has been resurrected having the New Title of the
Chief Instructor of all Horses, White or Red or whatever colours they may be.
And so the title of White Horse was saved by the Joy of Life
while the Resurrected Horse himself became a fervent teacher of the New
Calendar of Leviathan, in the power of which he himself has seen the sign of his
own resurrection with the direct mercy of the God of Israel upon him. Amen.
Gnomen 47 - The Tikkun of
White Horse (Paolo Fierro) with his ‘death’ represents the death of the fallen
tongue created by Paulus and his ‘resurrection’ represents the salvation by way
of the New Language of the Final New Pact. It also coincides with the
historical new opening of the New Stellar Calendar of Big Fish, Leviathan, the last great feat of White Horse before this Correction.
It is, of course, a general Tikkun, especially designed for the lost sheep of
the house of Israel who return unto the confines of the their true origin by
way of the Altar of Efraim in the House of Prayer of the Third and Final
Redemption of 7 Floors, 13 Altars and the carpet of Islam, in merit of the
Final Goel, Haim.
Gnomen 48 - The great gift of
the New Humble Brain has been sent by God Almighty to recompense for the
immense historical absence into which their destiny had thrown them. They must
therefore try to live inside the New Knowledge and the New Spirit of the
Completed Signs and to become another in all ways. Pray only to El SHADDAI
directly and allow His holy Presence to shine upon you. Amen.
Gnomen 49 - Be bound to the
Goel Haim, with all your heart, as much as you are able, for you may fully love
the Teacher who is teaching you the true ways of God This relationship as a
true pupil to the true teacher chosen by the Lord, our God, is extremely loved
before Him. It is also part of the true respect so loved by the Lord, our God.
Gnomen 50 - Bind your
thoughts to the new teachings of Sefer Mishnat Haim for in them you will find
the strength of the coherent voice that accompanies every word, in all its
texts, and that binds you to the Sign of the Stars of the Final Redemption. In
these texts, studied in the true faith of the true Tradition, you will find the
Living Voice of Prophecy. For the ways in which God manifests Himself to
individuals are infinite but the prophetic Guidance of the Final Redemption is
‘channelled’ into the Prophetic Writings of Sefer Mishnat Haim, on the
authority of the Tzadik, the chosen Goel, Haim.
Chapter 2
Gnomen 51 - DIARY of the
Donkey who eats Bread: Jan. 6, 1999, Tevet 18, 5759, Heavenly Perfume 8.
Noda in a dream
Wednesday morning saw Beniamino noster in
our house. They greeted and were so happy to see each other that they cried for
joy. Noda also said to Beniamino “I am happy that now you can stay close to
us”.
Gnomen 52 - With the sign of
the death and resurrection of White Horse and the new blessings that uplift the
Double-Tail of the Donkey, there has been a marvellous New Marriage between the
Kingdom of Heaven and the earth, a Marriage that corresponds to the Sign of the
Great New Reconciliation of the New Humble Brain and the Heart.
Gnomen 53 - Jacob, our
father, is the Cord of his inheritance. Jacob, our father, is the Seal of the
Holy Inheritance given by EL SHADDAI. Those are the blessings of Abraham, Isaac
and Jacob, to them for the sake of their descendants forever.
Gnomen 54 - And yet Jacob,
our father, Seal and Binding Cord to the Blessings of the true Tradition of
Israel, did not receive the blessing of Isaac without having to undergo the
harsh accusations of Esau (Gen. 27: 36) ‘And he said, “Is it not thus that he
called his name Jacob (ya’acov) and he has fooled me
(ye’akveini) twice; he took the right of the
first-born and behold, now, he has taken my blessing” and he said “have you
then not reserved for me any blessing!”
Gnomen 55 - In memory of my
beloved mother Ann (Becker) Green. - The same root of
the name Jacob comes also in the form of ‘eikev’
(heel) at his birth (ibid, 25: 26) And afterwards came out his brother, and his
hand held on to the heel of Esau, and he called his name Jacob, and Isaac was
60 years old in their birth.
We already know that
the ‘messianic blessing to be received by the people of Jacob comes at a time
in which the outer bearing of the Jewish people is equal to the ‘crudeness of
the field’ of Esau. The garments of the field containing the healthy, vigorous
and perfumed scent of nature were most pleasing to Isaac, our father, who indeed
loved Esau also because of his love and attachment to the natural world.
Gnomen 56 - There is a time
for the reception of the blessing in which the voice of Jacob is not sufficient
of itself to merit to the blessing; Esau’s garments of the natural field-life
are needed. This was in the time of the rebirth of the State of Israel. The
voice of Jacob was heard especially in the garments of non-religious or less than traditional
Jews, in the perfumed scent of Israel’s fields, the revitalisation of its nature
and the love of Israel’s land in its promised return to the heredity of the
Patriarchs.
Gnomen 57 - What is to Israel
is to Israel but what becomes of the lost sheep of the house of Israel? How is
the claim of Esau justified historically. What might the
Christian nations of Esau mean if they claim that Jacob, the Jewish people,
fooled them twice, it stole their right of the first-born and it stole their
blessing? Only when the Final New Message has been revealed can the matter be
approached. What has Christianity had that it might lose in the end?
Gnomen 58 - The Initial
Universal Joseph Signs were at the basis of the Mission of Yeshua. Indeed, they
went out to the nations of Christianity because the place of the nations is
within the framework of the Universal Salvation, not in the ‘Jewish’ salvation.
This is because they are not commanded directly in the laws of the Torah as are
the children of Israel. Thus the mission of Yeshua was bound up to the
salvation of the lost sheep of the children of Israel who are bound to the
right of the first-born.
Gnomen 59 - Indeed,
Christianity itself would not have thrived on the Esau merit by itself. If the
lost sheep of the house of Israel had not been in the Christian folds, with the
‘hidden signs of the first-born right of Joseph’ within them, Christianity
would not have come into existence. Christianity thus has had the birth-right
of the first-born, in virtue of the Messianic Signs of Joseph for the salvation
of the lost sheep. These Signs, however, and the Salvation that they bring, are
completed only in the Final New Pact, a Salvation for the lost sheep but that
extends to all the Descendants of Malchitzedek. The birth-right of Joseph
returns home.
Gnomen 60 - Esau’s highly
anguished crying and his desperate request to cling to some as yet ungiven blessing of Isaac, refers to the anguished and
desperate Christianity when the Final Signs arrive and the death of the
historical and theological Christianity is decreed. The prophetic answer of
Isaac, our father, covers, of course, the full gamut of Christian history; the
‘fats of the land’ (ibid, 27: 28) are the fat-stuff of Roman Catholicism.
Esau’s great extension is due to the breaking of God’s yoke on the part of the
descendants of Jacob. For the rest, Esau lives by the sword, the sword of
terrestrial power, of money and prestige. In that terrible moment of
realisation, Isaac himself must admit that he already blessed Jacob and Jacob
is blessed and all those who curse him will be cursed.
Gnomen 61 - The fact is that
Esau’s conception of his father’s blessing was not the same as it was for
Jacob. Esau reasoned that his father’s blessing meant everything good in life,
health, riches, the love of many women, power and
honor. Jacob searched for the light of God’s truth and he stayed in the tent to
meditate on God’s laws. History is testimony.
Gnomen 62 - Time moves on.
The Final New Pact will become known and millions of people who were previously
Christians will become part of the Altar of Malchitzedek. Jesus will become
humanised and Jewish will understand the truth of that true Messianic Mission.
In essence, from the moment the Final Signs were received on earth, all
Christianity loses its raison d’etre. The true
birth-right of Yeshua returns to Jacob and the true blessing of Isaac, our
father, descends on those who receive the Completed Signs
of the Third and Final Redemption and who live under the guidance of the
Teacher Haim.
Gnomen 63 - (Jan. 13, 1999) DIARY:
Solly sent me (Jan. 8, 1999) a document from the
Judaic Studies Program University of Central Florida concerning the Essenes and
the Qumran Community. Very interesting study concerning the
dichotomy between Tzadokites of those times who were,
in some way, involved with the Essenes as opposed to the Sadducees who remained
in Jerusalem, those that we generally hear of, etc. There is some level
of truth in this thesis of Professor Shiffman (on
whose research the document is mainly based) although, in essence, it changes
nothing, and is virtually irrelevant regarding the founding of the School at
the hands of the Teacher of Justice, as we have received it etc.
DIARY: Jan. 15, 1999,
Tevet 27, 5759, Heavenly Perfume 17: I saw in a flash-dream just before waking
that I was writing here on this table a text (which it seems to me carried some
conotation of a ‘concluding text’). As I was writing
the first few pages, I saw the book grow and ‘flourish’ into a full book. - -
I recognise the
possible messianic sign of "Tzmiha" - ‘to
flourish’ or ‘grow rapidly’ - our School of the Shoshana itself, at this point,
very much needs the Sign of Tzmiha in order to sprout
up.
Gnomen 64 - From the
beginning of this Book, I began telling something of my own story. Why? Do I
want to be known? I can’t really answer that. Must I become known? Obviously,
it’s a goal of the Donkey to stand on his Tail and to bray. Nevertheless, the
becoming famous of the Donkey is not outside in the plaza nor anywhere else
outside in public to announce the Final Redemption. There is absolutely no
permission for me to do such, as shown recently in a dream to Noda in which I
went dressed in a blue sweat-suit to a park and as I began to announce the
Redemption, lightning came down from heaven and fulminated
me. Noda, however, prayed to EL SHADDAI and I was resuscitated. The Tail of the
Donkey, however, Anna G., Davide L., Solly K., Paolo
F., Daniele M., Giuseppe M. and Noda, have permission to diffuse the Messages
through the channels given us in the context of the School of Shoshana in Italy
and the Beit Sefer Esther in Israel and eventually the School of the Yellow
Rose in the U.S., also by way of Internet.
Gnomen 65 - The problem, of
course, as usual, is not with the Donkey. When the Third
Redemption Donkey gets into the scene, his past is only in the Books, even
though it’s all to discover. I, however, had some real problems with
autobiographical sketches of all his former life, before the age of 23-24 when
he met and became talmid of the Tzadik Haim. I am not
sure if the book seen by me this morning refers to my autobiography or to
something else, but for the moment I have no other clues to work on. Therefore
I’m speaking my heart out to see what happens.
Gnomen 66 - Before knowing
the Tzadik Haim, what was I? A Habadi, with a Habadi beard
and Habadi beliefs. Who knows what an ungracious mess and an
undisciplined soul the Tzadik Haim looked at the first time he found me in the
Synagogue (mostly Habadi) of Via Cellini in Milan. Later on, however, the
hidden Tzadik Haim told me
that he had seen me and followed me from my birth and that he knew everything
about me.
Gnomen 67 - The Tzadik also
revealed to me that he had been ‘forced’ to bring me to Milan ‘before the
designated time’. He had seen my state, the desperate state of my soul because
of the depths of impurity that I had reached, deep into the Habad roots of
unfounded Mysticism. If more time had been allowed, explained the teacher Haim,
head of the 36 Hidden Tzadikim, it would have become too late and impossible to
redeem me from there. The Tzadik had looked deeply into the matter and he had
seen that there was no choice.
Gnomen 68 - Habad was the very particular chapter that I had to know
thoroughly and to be a full-fledged part of from which I was redeemed by the
Hidden Tzadik, Haim. Also before Habad, however, I had been severely caught in
the traps of impure spirits, impure sexual spirits and impure depressive
spirits. There was a dream that shows me in the clutches of the ‘other side’
when I was younger. My brain would have been destroyed a million times had not
the God of Israel bestowed on me the great desire to study languages and to
read and to gain knowledge. I would otherwise never have come through it. And
if not for the hidden prayers of the hidden Tzadik
who kept an eye on the one who was destined to become his talmid.
Gnomen 69 - Also the guitar
helped me assuage the inner conflicts that tormented me from 12 to 22. Except
for a few isolated times, I never really fell into serious states of depression
but a terrible amount of sexual frustration anguished my soul into desperate
prayers. In 1991 I received in a dream at Houston Texas permission to compose a
text, on my own name and not in the
context of Sefer Mishnat Haim, on the depths of impurity into which I had fallen
in previous years. That text, if it becomes reality, is
to be personal and not associated with the Tzadik Haim whom I still didn’t
know.
Gnomen 70 - Why then speak of
myself before 23? I was really nothing to define; never quiet, never able to
relax, tormented by thoughts, desirous of gaining knowledge but relatively
unsuccessful for many reasons. In all this, however, I constantly searched for
ways to know the closeness of God Almighty. I was not a follower, not one to be
part of groups or clubs. I was an individualist looking for my way. I loved words.
Words were poetry to my ears. I would repeat words that I liked many times to
hear their sound. This gave me the desire to study other languages. All
languages had their beautiful words and their musicality and their poetic
sense. My spirit was quite poetic; I should perhaps have written poetry.
Gnomen 71 - I have always had
faith in God Almighty and I have never known doubts.
DIARY: Jan. 16, 1999,
Tevet 28, 5759, Heavenly Perfume 18: Paolo and Noda fasted Shabbat for me after
I woke up from a dream of condemnation to death. I did not know for what reason
and I began to pray and to ask God to remove this decree. -
Gnomen 72 - I was a wonderer,
always searching, influenced certainly by oriental meditation, to get out of my
body and to reach a higher state of being. From the age of 13 it began just
after the death of my grandfather Max Green. At 11, I had Mommy buy me a black
leather jacket and with my guitar in hand I imitated Elvis Presley. At 12 I
wanted to be a famous baseball catcher but as a hobby I also collected precious
mineral stones that a friend of the family used to bring me. At school I would
cut up as much as possible, loving attention and trying to make people laugh. I
was even worse at Hebrew School but my Bar Mitzvah was getting closer and I had
to learn my Haftarah. But then Paternal Grandpa Max Green
died, just a month before my Bar Mitzvah.
Gnomen 73 - That was an event
in my life that shook me up and woke me up and set me on a different course.
Grandpa had died but I knew he was there. His body had died but he had not
died, I felt it. When I saw him in the coffin at the funeral, I spoke to him
mentally and I felt his presence. The understanding that life itself would have
no purpose if it ended with death was innate in me but when Grandpa died this
concept became alive in me. I was somewhat stunned but wondrous that he had
died just before the Bar Mitzvah that he so desired to see. I reasoned that he
had been given to see my Bar Mitzvah from the world of truth.
Gnomen 74 - My Bar Mitzvah
passed with colour light bulbs set up in our backyard by Uncle Dave (Becker).
Lots of people came and ate turkey and other dishes and cakes and they drank shnops and
wine. Also a microphone was set up so I could read my speech. In Shule everything had gone well Shabbat, the day before,
both the Haftorah reading (va-yiftah
ha-giladi) and
the Bar Mitzvah speech. Some nice money Bar Mitzvah gifts were received and
everything was fine. But I kept looking at Grandma. She was seated at a table
in dark garb. She was no longer the Grandma that I knew. Her body was there but
her mind and spirit was with Grandpa in the upper world. I saw it in her face
and in the expression of her eyes. Hers is the only facial image that I
remember from among those at the Bar Mitzvah; not even the face of Mom or Dad
in that event, no one, only Grandma’s.
Gnomen 75 - I had, of course,
felt the presence of Grandpa. He was there, looking on from above but close and
he was smiling because his grandson had been bar-mitzvahed.
I felt his presence close to me and now, even more than in the month from the
funeral to the Bar Mitzvah, I felt myself inwardly changed. I wondered if also
the others of the family felt how alive Grandpa had
become and I searched out their faces and asked of their feelings and
questioned them on death. I had soon to come to the realisation that the entire
manner in which I was perceiving Grandpa’s death was
very far removed from the thoughts of the others. I therefore told nothing of
the message I received from Grandpa about a month after the Bar Mitzvah.
Gnomen 76 - I sat on my bed
in a sort of Yoga meditation position, trying, as usual, to find the place in
my mind that was the door to leaving the body. I could, however, never quite
leave the body because every time I found the door, other ‘worldly’ desires
would always come just at that moment. In that sitting, however, it was not so
because I was concentrated on Grandpa and I was
extremely serious. With my eyes closed, I felt him come and in my mind I heard
him speak. “Look now at what I am showing you”. I envisioned a sort of garden
with colored flowers. Grandpa said, “You are looking
at a place in another country; it is there that you will have to go. Remember
what I tell you, you will have to use your brain very much and you will need
your whole brain to accomplish that which you have to accomplish. It is not now
and it will not be here but in another land”.
Gnomen 77 - At 13, I also had
my first romance, an interesting girl who would beep me by telephone in Morse
code that she loved me. The problem was that I would lose my patience in
beeping her back. We probably differed somewhat on what romantic meant. Her
father, of German-Jewish extraction, was a ham-radio enthusiast and Donna, his
daughter, was on the same track. I liked her because she was different than the
other girls, she played baseball and she was on the boy’s patrol and she was
great on clarinet. After school, we would go together to a candy store and play
the pinball machine together. Those were the good old days when pinball
machines were still pinball machines.
Gnomen 78 - Sometimes I took
her to the movies and afterwards I would walk here home; at the end of a narrow
alleyway before she would retreat, she would give me permission to kiss her on
the lips and to hold her tight. I had finally conquered the universe and I
loved her and until this day, I don’t know what foolishness got into me to make
me lose her. There had been a party of school-mates where lights would be
turned off once in a while for some extra kissing when spin-the-bottle
activities had dulled to boredom. At a certain dark point, I found myself
responding to the quite passionate kisses of one of Donna’s
‘best’ friends’ and that devilish tigress really swung me under her spell and
made my head swim. A day later, Donna called to tell me it was finished between
us; that ‘best’ friend of hers had called her and revealed how I tried to make
it with her and how I had forced her into kissing me etc. etc.
Gnomen 79 - Tears,
illumination, regret and a broken heart. I had heard that many females were
cats but I had never been meowed and scratched by one before. I suddenly
realised for the first time that evil existed and that false cunning was
dangerous and that it was easy enough to fall into the traps. At the same time,
my heart was broken inside because, trap or not, I had broken the confidence
that had bound Donna and myself, a fidelity that once broken, even only one
time, could never again return to the state of purity that it had known.
Confidence had to be 100 percent, otherwise it was not
true confidence. Then too I realised why I had loved Donna. She was not like
that. There was nothing false in her. She was not a liar, not a conniver, not
seeking to take advantage of someone else for her own gain. Inside, I smashed
myself to pieces for my folly.
Gnomen 80 - The pain of that
realisation came when I again saw Donna. I searched for her, distraught, hoping
and praying that I might correct the error. I remember her face when she came
outside from her house to meet me. She had had complete confidence in me. I too
loved her but immaturity had not allowed me to appreciate what I had had.
Because of a foolish moment, I had ruined everything. Fedelity
was not something you could piece back together once it was broken. Tears, illumination, regret and a broken heart.
Gnomen 81 - I relate this
episode because it had a profound influence on me. I pleaded with her to
forgive me, acknowledging the inane stupidity of my falling into the trap. She
forgave me. I begged her to allow me to kiss her again and she agreed. But I
had so deluded her that it would never be the same. Had she been only angry, it
would have been easier. Anger, as it comes, may go. But she was deluded. She
was no longer able to see me as she had seen me before. She tried to, because
her feelings for me were very strong but she could not unblock herself from the
inner disappointment that she had undergone. We tried yet for some months to be
again boy-friend and girl-friend but the binding force of that innocent and
pure confidence was missing, never to return. She could not see me as she had
seen me before; this was my inner pain, that I had
fallen in her eyes.
Gnomen 82 - After a few
months we decided to break up; I no longer remember the circumstance but my
love for her continued in me with heart felt suffering for at least 2 full
years afterwards. I wrote a stage-play for my English class in which the young
suffering protagonists acted out the state of anguish that I had known in my
frustrated love for Donna. My teacher (this was Junior High School), a woman
(and a Jewish Hebrew School teacher as well) was so shaken by the passion and
deep-felt suffering of a broken heart, that she called me for a personal chat.
She explained very gently that according to her, the emotions expressed in said
play were anything but those of a normal 14 year old. The depth of the
emotiveness and the tragic sense of inner suffering, she explained,
demonstrated strong psychological disturbances. She suggested that I be sent to
a psychologist so that I might work out my problems.
Gnomen 83 - I decided that
instead of going to a psychologist, I would meditate on human psychology and
try to understand what the mind was all about. At the same time I began to
study Latin and the love of language study began to take root. In that period I
was also part of the WBGO radio Workshop School-Radio Program, an FM station. I
studied diction and voice and was well received by the director, taking part in
several programs. I remember organising and directing several folk music
programs, played and sung by friends of mine. Most of those years were spent in
mental turmoil while at the same time from 13 onwards, I was awakened to the
intellect and my desire for knowledge grew with me in time. I might say now
that my vision of Grandpa and his message was my Garden. Then I met up with the
Serpentess and she coaxed me into eating a bit of
fruit, after which my eyes were opened and I saw how shamefully naked I was.
Gnomen 84 - From 14 to 15 (8th
and 9th grades) I was in the very modern Clinton Avenue Junior High School and
from 15 to 18 (10th, 11th and 12th grades) I was in Weequahic High School, both
in Newark, New Jersey. From 18 to 19 I was at the Yeshiva University and from
19 to 23 I was part of the Lubovitcher Movement; from 19 to 21 in Crownheights Brooklyn
and from 21 to 23 in
Brunoi (Suburbs of Paris) France, at the Lubovitcher Yeshiva there. From 13 to
19 I was, in general, in a state of great conflict between that which I sought
to be and that which I was in practice, between a level of purity that I
desired to reach and the insistence of impure thoughts and actions that brought
me down into very impure realms, between a level of knowledge that I craved to
acquire and the immense limitations that I found in myself.
Gnomen 85 - Between my High
School Graduation and my entering the Yeshiva University in uptown Manhattan, I
went to Israel with a group from the Yehuda Ha-Tza’ir (Yound Judea), one of the
non-religious Zionist groups. I was in Israel for 6 weeks during which fell my
18th birthday.
DIARY: Jan. 20, 1999, Shvat 3, 5759, Heavenly Perfume 22: Giuseppe dreamed that
he held an antique book of wisdom; its wisdom was very profound and, at the
same time, new. Giuseppe, reading the book, understood that this was the Book
of Wisdom of the True Middle Way. Jesus was not mentioned in it. Peretz wanted
to read the book and Giuseppe gave it over to him. - - (Then, after another 3
dreams,) Giuseppe saw another Book which was the ‘completion’ of the first:
Giuseppe understood that the Teacher Haim, was behind
them. - -
Gnomen 86 - In Giuseppe’s
dream, permission is given to the Donkey (by way of Giuseppe who’s in Sweet-Donkey-Sign now since he can speak outside to whomever he
wants) to formulate two books to be called, God willing, Book of Wisdom,
Ancient and New, of the True Middle Way). Yeshua is not mentioned in the Book
because the teachings of Jesus do not correspond to the Middle Way. Compare ‘if
someone slaps you on the right cheek’ etc. ‘if your eye betrays you’ etc. ‘tear
it out’ etc., ‘whoever wants to follow me, let him take up his cross’ etc. The
Final Revelation itself reveals the true Way of the Middle between two extremes
which of themselves, having been on the extreme, cannot be the true Middle Way.
This is, however, a new historical equilibrium given only by the Completed Signs
of the Final Redemption in merit of the Final Goel, Haim. It is he who has been
chosen by God Almighty to teach to the world the true Middle Way.
Gnomen 87 - I was in Israel
for 6 weeks that summer. My feeling for Israel was simple, with temimut. This was the homeland promised by God to the
Jewish people. It was the historical miracle of God after the Holocaust. The
only other thing I knew was that I loved the Hebrew language and I would read Hayim Nahman Bialik’s
poetry with great relish and with enthusiasm to look up every word I didn’t
know. My pockets were always filled with daily lists of new words, a custom I
had taken to from the age of 16, with French, Russian, Greek, Hebrew and even
Indonesian.